Act of God
There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby. The preacher went to the congregation and asked for a raise.
After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded so would his pay check.
After six children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary.
There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church.
Finally the preacher got up and spoke to the crowd, "Having children is an act of God"!
Silence fell upon the congregation. No one dared challenge the thought.
In the back of the room a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said, "Snow and rain are also acts of God too, but when we get too much, we wear rubbers."
Don't you just love little old ladies?
Saturday, February 04, 2006
JUST NEVER KNOW!!!
JUST NEVER KNOW!!!
Acts 2:38
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church
services when she was startled by an intruder.
She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and
yelled, STOP! Acts 2:38! (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus
Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.)
The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and
explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why
did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you."
Acts 2:38
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church
services when she was startled by an intruder.
She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and
yelled, STOP! Acts 2:38! (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus
Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.)
The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and
explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why
did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you."
Missouri - God's Country
Missouri - God's Country
A man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about churches around th
country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working east.
Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes.
He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with
a sign which read "$10,000 a minute."
Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and sign. The pastor answered
this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he pays the
price he can talk directly to God. The man thanked the pastor and continued
on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Salt Lake City,
Chicago, Milwaukee, and around the United States, he found more phones with
the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.
Finally he arrived in the lovely Ozark Mountain country of Missouri. Upon
entering a church, behold, he saw the usual golden telephone. BUT THIS time
the sign read, "Calls: 25 cents." Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor.
“I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I found this
golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and could
talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your
sign reads 25 cents a call. "Why?" The pastor, smiling benignly, replied, "Son,
you're in Missouri now, and it is a local call."
A man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about churches around th
country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working east.
Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes.
He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with
a sign which read "$10,000 a minute."
Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and sign. The pastor answered
this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he pays the
price he can talk directly to God. The man thanked the pastor and continued
on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Salt Lake City,
Chicago, Milwaukee, and around the United States, he found more phones with
the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.
Finally he arrived in the lovely Ozark Mountain country of Missouri. Upon
entering a church, behold, he saw the usual golden telephone. BUT THIS time
the sign read, "Calls: 25 cents." Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor.
“I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I found this
golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and could
talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your
sign reads 25 cents a call. "Why?" The pastor, smiling benignly, replied, "Son,
you're in Missouri now, and it is a local call."
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