DON'T SQUAT WITH YER SPURS ON: A COWBOY'S GUIDE TO LIFE

DON'T SQUAT WITH YER SPURS ON: A COWBOY'S GUIDE TO LIFE

by Texas Bix Bender

* Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.

* There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

* Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew. Your mouth is

probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try

orderin' somebody else's dog around.

* Never ask a man the size of his spread.

* After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started

roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The

moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

* If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop

diggin'.

* Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.

* It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

* Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from

bad judgment.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

* If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and

then to make sure it's still there.

* When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't

be surprised if they learn their lesson.

* When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown

around by somebody else.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it

back.

* Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so

important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.

* The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it

back in your pocket.

* Never miss a good chance to shut up.