A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The
office says, i clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs
calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car
doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks
over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?" The wife smiles
demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the
illegal radar unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "darn it, woman, can't
you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you
are not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
the driver says, "yeah, well, you see officer, I had it
on, but i took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.
The wife says, "now, dear, you know very well that
you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third
ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
the officer looks over at the woman and asks, "does your husband always talk to you this way, ma'am?
"no, only when he's been drinking."
