Today's Quote
What is beautiful is not always good, but what is good is always beautiful.
-Unknown
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Friday, March 18, 2005
2nd Today's Quote
Today's Quote
Too many people miss the silver lining because they're expecting gold.
-Maurice Setter
Too many people miss the silver lining because they're expecting gold.
-Maurice Setter
Thought for Today
Thought for Today
Aldous Huxley
"Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him."
Aldous Huxley
"Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him."
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Thought for Today
Thought for Today
Irish Blessing
May you always have work for your hands to do,
May your pockets hold always a coin or two,
May the sun shine bright on your windowpane,
May the hand of a friend always be near you,
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
Irish Blessing
May you always have work for your hands to do,
May your pockets hold always a coin or two,
May the sun shine bright on your windowpane,
May the hand of a friend always be near you,
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
St. Pat's Day ... wishing you all things green...haha...
Happy St. Pat's Day to everyone.. here is what a friend of mine wrote about the day. JJ is the drummer for the band The Great Divide and he send this note...
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
St. Patrick's Day is celebrated on March 17, his religious feast day and the anniversary of his death in the fifth century. The Irish have observed this day as a religious holiday for thousands of years. On St. Patrick's Day, which falls during the Catholic season of Lent, Irish families would traditionally attend church in the morning and celebrate in the afternoon. Lenten prohibitions against the consumption of meat were waived and people would dance, drink, and feast—on the traditional meal of Irish bacon and cabbage.
The first St. Patrick's Day parade took place not in Ireland, but in the United States. Irish soldiers serving in the English military marched through New York City on March 17, 1762. Along with their music, the parade helped the soldiers to reconnect with their Irish roots, as well as fellow Irishmen serving in the English army. Over the next thirty-five years, Irish patriotism among American immigrants flourished, prompting the rise of so-called "Irish Aid" societies, like the Friendly Sons of Saint Patrick and the Hibernian Society. Each group would hold annual parades featuring bagpipes (which actually first became popular in the Scottish and British armies) and drums.
Up until the mid-nineteenth century, most Irish immigrants in America were members of the Protestant middle class. When the Great Potato Famine hit Ireland in 1845, close to a million poor, uneducated, Catholic Irish began to pour into America to escape starvation. Despised for their religious beliefs and funny accents by the American Protestant majority, the immigrants had trouble finding even menial jobs. When Irish Americans in the country 's cities took to the streets on St. Patrick's Day to celebrate their heritage, newspapers portrayed them in cartoons as drunk, violent monkeys. However, the Irish soon began to realize that their great numbers endowed them with a political power that had yet to be exploited. They started to organize, and their voting block, known as the "green machine," became an important swing vote for political hopefuls. Suddenly, annual St. Patrick's Day parades became a show of strength for Irish Americans, as well as a must-attend event for a slew of political candidates. In 1948, President Truman attended New York City 's St. Patrick's Day parade, a proud moment for the many Irish whose ancestors had to fight stereotypes and racial prejudice to find acceptance in America.
JJ
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Heather sends along this note.... Mom sells monster....
Mom Uses eBay To Sell Monster Under Child's Bed - Bidders Asked To Remove Monster From Girl's Room
PHILADELPHIA -- One of the duties of a parent is to make sure the monster under their child's bed is held at bay -- even when the monster
exists solely in that child's imagination. One local parent had a high-tech solution to the problem -- she has put the monster up for auction on eBay. Kathleen Tait had her daughter draw the monster under her bed and is selling the image on the online auction site, WCAU-TV in Philadelphia
reported. Tait's daughter said the monster would make her room a mess. Kathleen Tait said the whole thing began months ago, when her daughter
would wake up, afraid that the monster would get her and her toys. "To this day, I sleep with her," Tait said. "I lay down with her until she falls asleep."
Tait tried several ways to bait the monster, including peanut butter and jelly. Then, she hit upon eBay. Those who bid on the monster are asked to take it out of Tait's daughter's room. It is hoped that by selling the monster, it will be gone for good. There are five days left on the auction, and the bidding early Tuesday evening was $2.25. "People can sell pretzels, so why not a monster?" Tait said.
PHILADELPHIA -- One of the duties of a parent is to make sure the monster under their child's bed is held at bay -- even when the monster
exists solely in that child's imagination. One local parent had a high-tech solution to the problem -- she has put the monster up for auction on eBay. Kathleen Tait had her daughter draw the monster under her bed and is selling the image on the online auction site, WCAU-TV in Philadelphia
reported. Tait's daughter said the monster would make her room a mess. Kathleen Tait said the whole thing began months ago, when her daughter
would wake up, afraid that the monster would get her and her toys. "To this day, I sleep with her," Tait said. "I lay down with her until she falls asleep."
Tait tried several ways to bait the monster, including peanut butter and jelly. Then, she hit upon eBay. Those who bid on the monster are asked to take it out of Tait's daughter's room. It is hoped that by selling the monster, it will be gone for good. There are five days left on the auction, and the bidding early Tuesday evening was $2.25. "People can sell pretzels, so why not a monster?" Tait said.
Clipping of the Day
Clipping of the Day
Grinding the Faces of the Poor
From the New York Herald (New York, New York), 16 March 1870, page 5
Slow Progress of the Pension Payments--A System of Extortions that Aggregates Handsomely for the Pension Agents and Robs the Poor Widows.
Payment of pensions to widows of soldiers killed during the war, begun on the 4th instant in a basement room of the Custom House, is still daily continued under the direction of General Lawrence, Pension Agent. Thus far about 2,500 have been paid from the list of 6,000 whom General Lawrence has to pay. . . At the present rate of progress it will take about two weeks longer to get through the list. Too frequent description has been given in the Herald of the poverty-stricken appearance of the widows and mothers who put in their semi-annual appearance here for the pensions allowed them by the government on account of husbands and sons killed in the late war to render further description necessary. Wretchedness and poverty in their most pitiful phases stare one in the face, and stony hard is the heart that is not moved at the spectacle.
Paying these pensioners is not to be characterized as an act of humanity by the government. It is an act of duty, and most pitiful is the amount paid. And this is not all. The most unjust extortions, though made legal by Congressional enactment, accompany the payment. Every widow has to pay seventy cents, or rather this sum is deducted from the amount due her before she can get her pension. In the first place, twenty-five cents are exacted for making out the papers, and then fifteen cents each for three oaths respectively of two witnesses, and the one to whom the pension is to be paid. One woman came there yesterday from Forty-second street. She was told that she must bring two witnesses to swear that she has not remarried since her husband's death, on whose account the pension was claimed. It was a new arrangement, and the first she had heard of it. The result was that she had to hunt up her witnesses and pay two car fares each for them, besides her own riding, altogether putting her to an outlay of $1.12 before she got her pension. . .
Grinding the Faces of the Poor
From the New York Herald (New York, New York), 16 March 1870, page 5
Slow Progress of the Pension Payments--A System of Extortions that Aggregates Handsomely for the Pension Agents and Robs the Poor Widows.
Payment of pensions to widows of soldiers killed during the war, begun on the 4th instant in a basement room of the Custom House, is still daily continued under the direction of General Lawrence, Pension Agent. Thus far about 2,500 have been paid from the list of 6,000 whom General Lawrence has to pay. . . At the present rate of progress it will take about two weeks longer to get through the list. Too frequent description has been given in the Herald of the poverty-stricken appearance of the widows and mothers who put in their semi-annual appearance here for the pensions allowed them by the government on account of husbands and sons killed in the late war to render further description necessary. Wretchedness and poverty in their most pitiful phases stare one in the face, and stony hard is the heart that is not moved at the spectacle.
Paying these pensioners is not to be characterized as an act of humanity by the government. It is an act of duty, and most pitiful is the amount paid. And this is not all. The most unjust extortions, though made legal by Congressional enactment, accompany the payment. Every widow has to pay seventy cents, or rather this sum is deducted from the amount due her before she can get her pension. In the first place, twenty-five cents are exacted for making out the papers, and then fifteen cents each for three oaths respectively of two witnesses, and the one to whom the pension is to be paid. One woman came there yesterday from Forty-second street. She was told that she must bring two witnesses to swear that she has not remarried since her husband's death, on whose account the pension was claimed. It was a new arrangement, and the first she had heard of it. The result was that she had to hunt up her witnesses and pay two car fares each for them, besides her own riding, altogether putting her to an outlay of $1.12 before she got her pension. . .
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
If Dad were here...... he'd love this....
Homestyle Corned Beef with Dilled Cabbage
Ingredients:
2-1/2 to 3-1/2 lb boneless corned beef brisket
1/4 cup honey
1 tbsp Dijon-style mustard
Dilled Cabbage:
1 medium head cabbage (about 2 pounds), cut into 8 wedges
3 tbsp butter, softened
1 tbsp Dijon-style mustard
1-1/2 tsp chopped fresh dill
Instructions:
Heat oven to 350°F. Place corned beef brisket and 2 cups water in Dutch oven. Bring just to a simmer; do not boil. Cover tightly and cook in 350°F oven 2-1/2 to 3-1/2 hours or until fork-tender.
About 20 minutes before brisket is done, steam cabbage 15 to 20 minutes or until tender.
Remove brisket from water; trim fat. Place on rack in broiler pan so surface of beef is 3 to 4 inches from heat. Combine honey and 1 tablespoon mustard. Brush top of brisket with 1/2 of glaze; broil 3 minutes. Brush with remaining glaze; broil 2 minutes or until glazed.
Combine butter, 1 tablespoon mustard and dill; spread on hot cabbage. Carve brisket diagonally across the grain. Serve with cabbage.
Makes 6 to 8 servings.
Ingredients:
2-1/2 to 3-1/2 lb boneless corned beef brisket
1/4 cup honey
1 tbsp Dijon-style mustard
Dilled Cabbage:
1 medium head cabbage (about 2 pounds), cut into 8 wedges
3 tbsp butter, softened
1 tbsp Dijon-style mustard
1-1/2 tsp chopped fresh dill
Instructions:
Heat oven to 350°F. Place corned beef brisket and 2 cups water in Dutch oven. Bring just to a simmer; do not boil. Cover tightly and cook in 350°F oven 2-1/2 to 3-1/2 hours or until fork-tender.
About 20 minutes before brisket is done, steam cabbage 15 to 20 minutes or until tender.
Remove brisket from water; trim fat. Place on rack in broiler pan so surface of beef is 3 to 4 inches from heat. Combine honey and 1 tablespoon mustard. Brush top of brisket with 1/2 of glaze; broil 3 minutes. Brush with remaining glaze; broil 2 minutes or until glazed.
Combine butter, 1 tablespoon mustard and dill; spread on hot cabbage. Carve brisket diagonally across the grain. Serve with cabbage.
Makes 6 to 8 servings.
Thinking of my tummy.......
Herbed Beef Tenderloin with Holiday Rice
Ingredients:
1 well-trimmed center-cut beef tenderloin roast (2 to 3 pounds)
Seasoning:
2 tsp olive oil
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1-1/2 tsp dried basil
1 tsp coarse grind black pepper
1/2 tsp dried rosemary
Holiday Rice :
2 tbsp butter
3/4 cup each chopped onion and chopped red bell pepper
1 clove garlic, minced
1 package (9 ounces) frozen French-style green beans, defrosted
3 cups hot cooked rice
1/3 cup slivered almonds, toasted
Instructions:
Heat oven to 425�F. Combine seasoning ingredients; press onto beef roast. Place roast on rack in shallow roasting pan. Insert ovenproof meat thermometer so tip is centered in thickest part of beef, not resting in fat. Do not add water or cover. Roast in 425�F oven 35 to 40 minutes for medium rare; 45 to 50 minutes for medium doneness.
Remove roast when meat thermometer registers 135�F for medium rare; 150�F for medium. Tent with foil. Let stand 15 minutes. (Temperature will continue to rise about 10�F to reach 145�F for medium rare; 160�F for medium.)
Heat butter in large skillet over medium heat. Add onion, bell pepper and garlic; cook and stir 5 minutes or until tender. Add beans; cook and stir 2 minutes. Stir in rice and almonds; heat through. Carve roast; season with salt. Serve with rice.
Makes 4 to 6 servings.
Ingredients:
1 well-trimmed center-cut beef tenderloin roast (2 to 3 pounds)
Seasoning:
2 tsp olive oil
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1-1/2 tsp dried basil
1 tsp coarse grind black pepper
1/2 tsp dried rosemary
Holiday Rice :
2 tbsp butter
3/4 cup each chopped onion and chopped red bell pepper
1 clove garlic, minced
1 package (9 ounces) frozen French-style green beans, defrosted
3 cups hot cooked rice
1/3 cup slivered almonds, toasted
Instructions:
Heat oven to 425�F. Combine seasoning ingredients; press onto beef roast. Place roast on rack in shallow roasting pan. Insert ovenproof meat thermometer so tip is centered in thickest part of beef, not resting in fat. Do not add water or cover. Roast in 425�F oven 35 to 40 minutes for medium rare; 45 to 50 minutes for medium doneness.
Remove roast when meat thermometer registers 135�F for medium rare; 150�F for medium. Tent with foil. Let stand 15 minutes. (Temperature will continue to rise about 10�F to reach 145�F for medium rare; 160�F for medium.)
Heat butter in large skillet over medium heat. Add onion, bell pepper and garlic; cook and stir 5 minutes or until tender. Add beans; cook and stir 2 minutes. Stir in rice and almonds; heat through. Carve roast; season with salt. Serve with rice.
Makes 4 to 6 servings.
Monday, March 14, 2005
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Wow... more neat days.....
Friday, Austyn spent the day with us.. and we had a blast. Then, Saturday, due to illness in the family, we got to see Jon and Randi and Kaitlyn along with Jake and Heather and Andrew for part of Heather's Birthday, and today, we get to see the rest of the family for the rest of Heather's Birthday. Paul has been home sick with the flu.. so we are doing it this way!! Will post some pics from yesterday online and from today later on.. have a great day!
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Today's Quote
Today's Quote
My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just to enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate.
-Thornton Wilder
My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just to enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate.
-Thornton Wilder
Friday, March 11, 2005
Hayden Howard's Birthday....
Hayden Howard's Birthday in Topeka, KS. at Chuckie Cheese..... Happy B'day Hayden!!!!
Today's Quote
Today's Quote
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
-Walter Bagehot
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
-Walter Bagehot
Thursday, March 10, 2005
I think I am going to live....
Guess that's the case. This is the first day in more than a week that I have woke up and not had wet eyes... wow.. how cool! I got this virus in my lungs and I felt like I was drowning... and after setting through Dad's dealy.. it was a bit scarey.... I never had anything quite like it.. my lungs were full of junk and I could cough up hands full of this yuck.. and every breathe was a wheeze instead of easy.. and labored.. Then it went to the lining on the outside of my head.. and it hurt to breathe.. ect.. you get the pic.. but hopefully, that is past.
Austyn has a skit at school this am and Phil is on the way to see him in it.. he is carrying the flag, *I think he said... Jake is out feeding cattle, Ann and I are better, we think, and all is well in the world.. have a 76 degree day coming soon, Sat. I think.. how wonderful that is.. it's about time to start farming again.. love the first earth turned smell..... but alas, by the end of summer, I am ready to quite for a bit.. haha..
We have a family who keeps their kiddos calves here with us for showing and they have done quite well this spring in the livestock shows. They are to wonderful young ladys who fight like two sisters, and get along like to sisters..haha.. Jake is taking them over Saturday morning to meet Fred Shultz and look at his great livestock. I think Saturday, the family is getting together to celebrate the birth of Heather Ann and the anniversary of Phil and Tammy. Twill be another wonderful family moment!!
All I know for now.. Have a great day!!
Austyn has a skit at school this am and Phil is on the way to see him in it.. he is carrying the flag, *I think he said... Jake is out feeding cattle, Ann and I are better, we think, and all is well in the world.. have a 76 degree day coming soon, Sat. I think.. how wonderful that is.. it's about time to start farming again.. love the first earth turned smell..... but alas, by the end of summer, I am ready to quite for a bit.. haha..
We have a family who keeps their kiddos calves here with us for showing and they have done quite well this spring in the livestock shows. They are to wonderful young ladys who fight like two sisters, and get along like to sisters..haha.. Jake is taking them over Saturday morning to meet Fred Shultz and look at his great livestock. I think Saturday, the family is getting together to celebrate the birth of Heather Ann and the anniversary of Phil and Tammy. Twill be another wonderful family moment!!
All I know for now.. Have a great day!!
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Does God Exist?
Does God Exist?
This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering that I have seen. It's an explanation other people will understand.
A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects.
When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."
"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.
"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving a God who would allow all of these things."
The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt!
The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."
"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber and I just worked on you!"
"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."
"Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, people do not come to me."
"Exactly!" affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."
If you think God exists, send this to other people---If you think God does not exist, delete it!
BE BLESSED AND BE A BLESSING !!!!
This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering that I have seen. It's an explanation other people will understand.
A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects.
When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."
"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.
"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving a God who would allow all of these things."
The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt!
The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."
"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber and I just worked on you!"
"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."
"Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, people do not come to me."
"Exactly!" affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."
If you think God exists, send this to other people---If you think God does not exist, delete it!
BE BLESSED AND BE A BLESSING !!!!
As a father, I have failed the test.......
As a father, I have failed the test. I forgot to mention that Wednesday is Heather Ann Moffat Blankinship's 32nd Birthday and the day is special to another family of Moffat's as well. It is also Phillip and Tammy Moffat's 13 Anniversary of their Wedding. We wish you all the best and many many more. I think there is a family get to gether coming up soon to celebrate, so maybe I will be forgiven, hopefully, ???
Friday, March 04, 2005
Has been a week among weeks... haha...
Seems like only yesterday, think I have heard this one before.. haha!!
What a week. Ann sick, me sick, cows out on wheat when not supposed to be, our own house dog ran away from us overnight, Zoe went to spend the night a the neighbors... Truck not running right, beautiful weather, mom has back ache and now this am she has an unexplained black eye!! hummmmmmmmmm.... and on and on. Jake is heading up to the farm to work with Uncle Mike tomorrow so we will not have him this weekend and this is the week that the fat pigs that Paul was feeding out, with Andrew's help, went to the butchers.. haha.. guess you can guess where this story is headed, yelp, Andrew wants to know where his pigs are and he is MAD!!! Plus Dad had Grandpa Roy's trailer and he was not supposed to have it.. and on and on.. Andrew, our little ole 85 year old three year old... Ann is home today, but received a job at 4:30 pm yesterday that is a rush job so she has been on the phone trying to help get it out most of the morning.
I am heading out to work on fence when Jake gets back with the truck and my claw hammer! We only own one, so have to share!
This has also been a week for geese... everywhere!! thousands of them and they can mow off a wheat field in nothing flat. I saw this for the first time last two days. The wheat field of ours that is across the fence from the pond on this quarter was about three inches tall, and in two days.. clear to the ground!! They are unbelievable in their ablility to mow it off!!
Heard someone has an anniversay this coming Wednesday, March 9th... and someone else has a birthday on that same date.. right??? Phillip and Tammy will be married 13 years.. getting married in 1992.. and ole Heather, Madison's mom, a 1973 model will be 32 on that same date, goodness Heather is that right???
All for now, enjoy the day....
What a week. Ann sick, me sick, cows out on wheat when not supposed to be, our own house dog ran away from us overnight, Zoe went to spend the night a the neighbors... Truck not running right, beautiful weather, mom has back ache and now this am she has an unexplained black eye!! hummmmmmmmmm.... and on and on. Jake is heading up to the farm to work with Uncle Mike tomorrow so we will not have him this weekend and this is the week that the fat pigs that Paul was feeding out, with Andrew's help, went to the butchers.. haha.. guess you can guess where this story is headed, yelp, Andrew wants to know where his pigs are and he is MAD!!! Plus Dad had Grandpa Roy's trailer and he was not supposed to have it.. and on and on.. Andrew, our little ole 85 year old three year old... Ann is home today, but received a job at 4:30 pm yesterday that is a rush job so she has been on the phone trying to help get it out most of the morning.
I am heading out to work on fence when Jake gets back with the truck and my claw hammer! We only own one, so have to share!
This has also been a week for geese... everywhere!! thousands of them and they can mow off a wheat field in nothing flat. I saw this for the first time last two days. The wheat field of ours that is across the fence from the pond on this quarter was about three inches tall, and in two days.. clear to the ground!! They are unbelievable in their ablility to mow it off!!
Heard someone has an anniversay this coming Wednesday, March 9th... and someone else has a birthday on that same date.. right??? Phillip and Tammy will be married 13 years.. getting married in 1992.. and ole Heather, Madison's mom, a 1973 model will be 32 on that same date, goodness Heather is that right???
All for now, enjoy the day....
From Joanna and Clinton, Sunday School Lessons....
STORY OF ELIJAH
The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the
altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar. And then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times.
"Now," said the teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?"
A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, "I know! I know!" she said, "To make the gravy!"
LOT'S WIFE
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Johnny interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once, while she was DRIVING," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"
SUNDAY SCHOOL
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described
the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."
DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"
"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."
HIGHER POWER
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out, "Aces!"
SUNDAY SCHOOL
Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school.
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.
"Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the verse. Little Bobby was excited about the task -- but, he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Bobby was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd and that's all I need to know.
The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the
altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar. And then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times.
"Now," said the teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?"
A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, "I know! I know!" she said, "To make the gravy!"
LOT'S WIFE
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Johnny interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once, while she was DRIVING," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"
SUNDAY SCHOOL
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described
the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."
DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"
"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."
HIGHER POWER
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out, "Aces!"
SUNDAY SCHOOL
Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school.
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.
"Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the verse. Little Bobby was excited about the task -- but, he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Bobby was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd and that's all I need to know.
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