The Baby Billionaires Preschool

The Baby Billionaires Preschool
Tuesday, 07/10/2007 5:24 PM
Tags: The City
by Michael Kubin

(New York City)


Our goal at the Baby Billionaires Preschool is to provide a positive, age-appropriate experience in an environment which nurtures social and educational learning while preparing children in the basic analytical skills of corporate finance, modern capital markets, and risk analysis. We focus on physical play, creative expression, guided relaxation and the study of internal functional operations of business enterprises.

Typical daily schedule

7-8:30 a.m. Welcome Time/Free Play Several learning and activity centers are available, including blocks, crayons and Play-Doh. Parents must sign in the time their child arrives.

8:30-9 a.m. Analysis and Valuation Time Children assess a firm’s value proposition, identify key drivers and barriers, evaluate a firm’s accounting policies, and appraise future sustainability.

9-9:30 a.m. Snack Time Children are encouraged to use the restrooms and wash hands.

9:30-10 a.m. Midmorning Free Play Several learning areas are available such as blocks, puppets, Bloomberg monitors, small motor toys and finger painting.

10-10:30 a.m. Project Time Children work at their tables either on a multiplayer online venture capital simulation or a cooking activity.

10:30-10:45 a.m. Large Group Time The class gathers to learn about the weekly theme, sing songs, perform finger plays, discuss the implications of investor psychology and capital market imperfections, hear stories and examine the calendar.

10:45-11:15 a.m. Outdoor Awareness Time Children experience the complexity of the global food and agribusiness chain by playing “steal the bacon” in character.

11:15-11:30 a.m. Lunch Prep Use bathroom and wash hands.

11:30 a.m.-12 p.m. Lunch Parents may either bring lunch from home for their child or purchase blanched collards and mung bean sprouts with watermelon-soy dressing.

12-12:30 p.m. Quiet Time Prep Use bathroom, wash hands, and listen to tape of “Guided Meditation/Relaxation Techniques Designed to Decrease Stress, Anger and Anxiety While Increasing Self-esteem and Self-awareness.”

12:30-3 p.m. Quiet Time All children are encouraged to lie on their cots for the beginning of nap. After the other children have a chance to fall asleep, children who are not sleeping may be given a mild sedative.

3-3:30 p.m. Wake Up/Pep Time Use bathrooms, wash hands, put cots and blankets away and complete the twelve poses of Sivananda Yoga.

3:30-4 p.m. Indoor Interest Areas Children examine how financial engineering, especially risk derivatives and risk management techniques, can be used to advance their strategic goals.

4-4:30 p.m. NYSE Closing Bell Children holding open positions (long or short) report them to the chief investment officer.

4:30-5 p.m. Sandbox Hierarchy Identifying the alpha baby through conceptual guidelines for diagnosing team dynamics and determining strategic options for optimization.

5-5:30 p.m. Quiet Play at Tables Probability, risk, and profit-maximizing tactics in Chutes and Ladders, strategic choices in multi-person games, and game-theory equilibria in Go Fish.

5:30-6 p.m. Complex Organism Play Children examine the challenges of managing coordination of local responsiveness by playing tag, absolute economies in King of the Hill, and cross-border interlocking tactics through Duck, Duck, Goose. (Time out given to any child demanding foie gras.)

Off-site Activities Field trips will be going to the petting zoo, the energy derivatives trading desk at Deutsche Bank, and the firehouse. Parents must turn in their child’s permission form in advance.

External Resources We encourage parent participation. We especially welcome those with special interests, hobbies, crafts, or any who wish to tell a favorite story about a takeover (friendly or hostile) or a creative resolution to an I.R.S. dispute.

Enrichment Programs The Baby Billionaires Preschool provides special enrichment opportunities throughout the school year. The children especially enjoy monthly science programs, mime classes, sign language, forensic accounting presentations and bug day.

Staff We are committed to hiring loving and experienced teachers. Every member of our staff is trained in early childhood education, activity-based costing and management, capital markets and equity finance.